You’ve reached a critical moment for yourself. There are parts of you eating away at your core. You’ve been unaware of them until now. Why now? Because you’ve upgraded and improved. In order for the new stuff to stand strong and to last, anything that doesn’t support it – works todismantle it.
Our family owns property in the mountains and on it has always stood what we affectionately called “the cabin”. It was little more than a tar paper shack with an outhouse. Five years ago we tore it down. In its place now stands a double-wide trailer complete with steps and a deck we built ourselves. There is even a bathroom that uses water from the stream running down the mountain. It’s beautiful.
Four years ago something began eating the steps and the deck, an unwelcome surprise. My nephew pulled in late one night and discovered the culprits – porcupines. We’d unknowingly built them a banquet of treated wood. They were ecstatic and aggressive and voracious.
Now, we could shoot them but there were lots of them, they were multiplying, and for sure they’d show up to continue the feast. We tried everything. We ended up in a compromise – an electric barrier surrounding all wooden structures attached to the cabin. It doesn’t hurt them but keeps them away from our steps.
It’s not that these critters had just arrived; they’d been there for years. We only noticed them when they threatened to destroy something we had just built, something new and better.
The stuff coming up now in your life, whether emotions or situations, is not new. You are stretching, growing wings, becoming a newer, lovelier version. These things, whatever they are, don’t support this new you. They were fine before, when Agape was not on the radar. Oh, you felt them – little jabs at your self esteem, dings at your self worth and reductions of your self value – but they were par for the course and passed quickly, soon forgotten. You barely noticed them.
Today, they seem to be center stage with a neon sign announcing their arrival. You can’t miss them. You will have to do something about them, to prevent them from destroying this new you.
For a long time they’ve comfortably travelled the same path you did – much like the porcupines. Today you are on the path to Agape. They remain doggedly on their route to self-doubt. In order to prevent a disruption in your journey you’ll have to dig deep – create such a well worn emotional path that it’s the first place your feelings drop into.
The other path exists and is eagerly travelled by “not good enough”, “have to”, “too slow”, “not ______(fill in the blank with your favorite)”. You can still see it, but it’s not your chosen route. This new, shiny, upgraded path has been reinforced and is deeply lined with truth. It’s a stronger road and becomes more-so with use. Plaques line its walls, saying things like: “You are perfect where you stand.” “I love you without exception.” “Under any condition and in every instance you are loved.”
At first it feels weird to walk there, and a little uncomfortable. Persevere, it’s a faster trip and the accommodations are better.
It took a long time for the porcupines to find our steps and destroy them. We were caught off guard and unprepared. You don’t have to be.
Create a well worn path of self acceptance. When you somehow fall onto that old familiar self defeating road, make a quick exit. Remember where you are going. The old road won’t take you there.
You are every inch the being of perfection you may have expected to instantly morph into about a year ago. Self hatred blinds you to this truth. Love yourself and watch you show up. She’ll be everything you dream of. He’ll be all you imagine. You’ll see.
You are the one you are waiting for.
See you tomorrow.